No Escape From The 99

Locked into a brutal game of chicken on the bus to nowhere.

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Bad Taxidermy At The Bloodied Caribou Lodge

Do not smile. Do not make eye contact. Keep your hands on the wheel and fully visible at all times. The border official paces around the car like a paedo-wolf or Piers Morgan, whichever is worse. Do not speak unless you are spoken to. Answer the officer in a timely and respectful manner.

It was another beautiful day at the Poker Creek border crossing.

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I Like Facebook And Facebook Likes Me

Before I signed up for Facebook, my life was a mess. But now I have a new life. Every morning I get up at 4am and hike into the mountains. I take off all my clothes and fire a gun into the air three times. When I get home I drink three Mickey Slims to keep the sad music away and spend the rest of the day alone crying and masturbating. Now I have over 15000 friends on Facebook!

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