Before I signed up for Facebook, my life was a mess. But now I have a new life. Every morning I get up at 4am and hike into the mountains. I take off all my clothes and fire a gun into the air three times. When I get home I drink three Mickey Slims to keep the sad music away and spend the rest of the day alone crying and masturbating. Now I have over 15000 friends on Facebook!Read more "I Like Facebook And Facebook Likes Me"
Merry Christmas folks! It’s December 25th and I spent Christmas day in the same way any other normal person would: alone and on the edge of hypothermia at the top of a mountain in British Columbia.Read more "The Many Deaths Of Loz K"
My secretary and I have been incarcerated in an Arctic gulag known as Inuvik in Canada’s Northwest Territories. We have been here for approximately six days or years; I cannot be sure since the sun does not set at this latitude.Read more "Strange Nausea In Inuvik"
My secretary and I stand at the edge of a place not intended for life to occur. A swirling portal of cold malevolence lies beyond these endless ice cliffs and lattices of crevasse. Dark forces are at work here. Even the Earth itself has deemed this place unsuitable for continued existence.Read more "Scary Things At The Edge Of Harding Icefield"
The wasp stung me in the eye three times. I instinctively tried to swat the wasp, but being protected behind my glasses I could only punch myself in the face.Read more "An Idea Today Is A Product Tomorrow"